Sunday, May 10, 2009

Badge of Courage (or Be it Resolved..)

I've got these brown spots on the back of my hands. They are tan lines from wearing bike gloves. They are usually more noticeable in the spring before other (gloveless) outdoor activities, such as swimming, equalize the suntan on my arms, hands and rest of my body. After 19 year of cycling I've gotten used to it, but some people make comments every now and then. Mostly guys will point out that it looks stupid or goofy, but that's ok because the chicks dig them. I'm amazed at how many complete strangers will come up and ask what kind of sport I'm into. I kinda like them. I consider them to be a brown badge of courage. Ok, maybe not courage, but certainly one of endurance.
It's been summer for about a month now. I noticed it one day when I left the house for work and instead of the usual cool mornings we'd been having the temperature at 8 o'clock was in the 70's. Overnight it became summer. We haven't had any cool mornings or evenings since. Now they daytime highs are consistently hitting the 90's. It's okay with me, though. I consider 70 degrees to be "cold".
I guess the thing about depression is that you don't always recognize it until it's over. I woke up this morning and some how things were "different", things just felt better. For the past couple of nights I've actually started having dreams again. Last night I had this big long convoluted dream about SD cards (seriously!). I'll spare you the details. Anyway... like I said, this morning things just felt different as if coming out of a fog or something. My last couple of rides had just been laborious, tedious, suffer-fests where I've barely been able to turn out 15-20 miles at a time. Today was a great day. I put in 51 miles and just smiled the whole time. I think there had just been so much negativity going on lately that it was really dragging me down. Yesterday I was resolved to not let it bother me anymore, that and the fact I quit taking allergy medicine. The allergy medicine was keeping me sneeze/sniffle/itch free but it was making me so groggy in the mornings and though I was sleeping all night I constantly felt tired and burned out. You dream during R.E.M. sleep and if you are not dreaming then you are not getting the restorative deep sleep that your body needs.


  1. Rofl: "chicks dig them." Now I'm looking at all the guys in the building to see if they have similar spots!

    And fifty one miles?? That sounds like a lot to me (of course, I measure everything in 3 minute rounds). Good for you, do what you love, even through the foggy patches.

    I'd be curious to know how you managed to keep cycling through the depressed times. When I'm down I don't want to do ANYthing...

  2. Ha! You should the yard, dishes, carpet, etc. none of which have been touched for a couple of weeks, lol. Cycling is what usually keeps me going. I did mow the yard this weekend and Monday did 3 loads of dishes! The carpet is still needing a good hoovering tho..